Chronicles of one girl's journey to London - from conception to eventual migration.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

TROUBLED

When I left for London, I had high hopes of making it here. I also had deep fears that it would all go wrong and I would end up back in Toronto, my tail between my legs but none worse for the wear.

That's the worst part: returning home not because of some emergency but because I had simply failed at my task.

I'm not a competitive person and my ambitions are life-oriented versus being money or career-oriented and so I don't mind losing on ocassion (except at word games. I cannot lose gracefully at word games!). But, here, in London, on my own, building my dream, I don't want to lose either.

I have gone through my savings far too quickly. Between two holidays and reckless spending on entertainment, I'm left kicking myself. The simple fact of the matter is that if I don't find permanent employment or a long-term contract I will have to leave for Toronto in Otctober.


Goodbye dream, goodbye friends, goodbye boyfriend, GOODBYE LONDON.


Please, not yet . . . not yet.

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